When thinking of foster care, what comes to mind? Do you imagine a warm, safe place for children in search of new homes? Do you envision children having the space to share thoughts freely and safely? Or are you reminded of a system where children hardly receive support? A place where they feel alone and isolated. No matter the position, foster care impacts youth and their behaviors as they age. Ranging from mental health concerns to PTSD and unhealthy relationship building. It is crucial for foster families to understand the experiences of children in order to minimize the psychological and emotional harm brought to them.
Photo by Mikhail Nilov: https://www.pexels.com/photo/boy-in-black-and-white-long-sleeve-shirt-sitting-on-green-leather-couch-7929429/
What is Breakdown?
Many adverse experiences youth face stem from the sudden breakdown encountered in foster care. Breakdown can be described as the early or unplanned termination of foster care placements, often creating instability and feelings of abandonment (Wedeles, 2016). Older children, and children displaying behavioural problems have a higher risk of experiencing breakdown within their placements. Foster parents must also be mindful of how they engage with foster children. A lack of proper communication when approaching a child displaying behavioral issues can create instability within the household, highlighting the importance of foster families to participate in behavioural management training to minimize the risk of breakdown (Ben-Shlomo & Meir, 2024).
Putting Things into Perspective
In order to further understand the effects of breakdown on youth in foster care, Ben-Shlomo and Meir conducted an interview with fourteen former foster children who now are between the ages of 18 and 30 years old. Many of the interviewees shared similar views during their time interacting with social workers and foster parents. Talya, who was only eight years old when she first entered the system, felt ignored. “I’m 21 now and I still say the same thing. You could have listened to me a little”.
Other participants felt abandoned and suffocated by their guardians. These feelings experienced in their youth were transferred into their adult relationships, making it difficult to place their trust in anyone. Ben-Shlomo and Meir explain that there are three common behaviours that are often present in foster homes and are the main reasons for breakdown.
- Lack of autonomy and strictness
- “Conditional parenting”
- Parenting as a gift
These behaviours are connected to psychological control and usually begin when youth in care start to cross the boundaries of their guardians. However, this has led to a lack of respect and irregular discipline (2024).
How To Minimize Harm and Strengthen Relationships?
So how do we ensure that we are not harming youth in foster care? Where do we even begin? It all starts with giving them grace and showing understanding. Having positive conversations of boundaries, respect and trust while giving them space to express themselves safely. Though, it doesn’t stop there. Families should continue to educate themselves, perform research on available community resources tailored to youth or foster youth and participate in workshops or training that would better prepare them to welcome their child into their home. As we move forward, we must remain present, patient, and compassionate.
References
Ben-Shlomo, S., & Meir, Y. (2024). Foster care breakdown in adolescence: A retrospective view of young individuals on their experiences. Journal of Social Work. https://doi.org/10.1177/14680173241278897